Holidays can be difficult for those who have lost a loved one or are struggling in many different ways, but organizations are available to offer support this time of year.
On Wednesday, Dec. 18, PeaceHealth Hospice and Hope Bereavement hosted a live-streamed holiday event, the annual Celebration of Remembrance for loved ones. The meaningful event invited community members to take a moment to honor loved ones they are missing during this time of year.
“When someone is grieving, it’s especially difficult in the holidays because holidays usually involve traditions, and traditions trigger memories, and that’s a good thing for most of the time, right?” PeaceHealth bereavement counselor Charlean Hayes Hughes said. “We see the ornaments we hung up years ago and that triggers positive memories, and when someone’s grieving, that could just trigger their sense of loss and what they’ve lost.”
Hughes added that the entire season can be difficult for those grieving, not just Christmas.
“And so [traditions are] one thing. The other is that, whether someone is celebrating Hanukkah or Christmas or Kwanzaa or the solstice, there’s usually family and friends gathered, and so it’s obvious when someone’s missing,” she said. “And that’s another moment when you’re feeling that loss because the person’s not there when folks are gathered either around the table, around the tree, around the lighting, so their absence is pretty significant.”
Colleen Storey, holistic care supervisor at PeaceHealth Hospice, said in a press release that celebrating the holidays in new and different ways can help a grieving situation.
“Maybe repeating familiar traditions makes the absence of your loved one more obvious and more painful,” the PeaceHealth release stated.
PeaceHealth offers these ideas for people grieving loved ones:
• Allow a family member or a restaurant to be responsible for the family dinner.
• Plan to go out of town to visit friends or for a personal time of change and quiet reflection.
• Shop catalogs or online if the noise of holiday shoppers and the mall is too intense.
• Reduce your mailing list. Send holiday greetings to only a select few.
• Buy the “perfect gift” for the deceased loved one and donate it to a homeless shelter or family gift program.
People who know someone who is grieving should consider what might help them. One of the best things to help is by validating their feelings.
“Often, others are afraid to say the name of our loved one due to worrying they may upset us,” Storey added in the release. “What people do not understand is we need to hear the name of our loved one spoken aloud. It helps us to remain connected. It helps us to know they were important in our lives and still are.”
PeaceHealth offers ways to help others who might be struggling during this time of year:
• Acknowledge their loss.
• Ask questions and listen.
• Offer or extend practical help.
• Be patient. Grief is a lifelong process, not an event.
As well as support methods from PeaceHealth, the Meadow Glade Seventh-day Adventist Church in Battle Ground will offer a free mental health seminar, “Caring for Our Minds,” from 3 p.m. to 5 p.m. Saturday, Feb. 8, at 11001 NE 189th St., Battle Ground. Registration starts at 2:45 p.m. and is open to all community members.
The church stated in an email that the event offers practical tools, expert insights and support for families and individuals of all ages.
