I would be lying if I did not admit the level of tension and frustration I feel as I sit and meditate on the current state of affairs in our county around a high school cross-country team. As I stood on the side of the starting line in Camas this last Wednesday, my focus was not on the student runners, but the adults that filled the sidewalks and grass lawns around them.
A normal sport event that's usually only made up of the dedicated parents, the supporting school staff and coaches, and the occasional on-lookers of the parks- was being occupied by multiple law enforcement agencies, national media broadcasters, social media influencers and activists. Every adult in attendance and engaging in the social media aftermath should be asking themselves, “how did we get here?”
Let me be clear about where I stand: As a girl dad myself, I believe fairness in girls’ sports matters. Female athletes deserve a competitive environment in which their opportunities and achievements are protected. Biological sex is relevant to athletic performance, and acknowledging that reality should not automatically make someone a bigot. Girls who question whether a particular competition is fair deserve to have their concerns heard seriously, not dismissed with a slogan.
But there is another truth we cannot afford to ignore: these students at the center of this controversy are children. These children did not create the cultural conditions in which this conflict has erupted. They are growing up inside them. The outward expression of these behavior patterns are due to the social parameters these kids have been shaped and raised in. My frustration was amplified in both directions Wednesday with what I observed.
On one extreme end, the ‘love-bombing’ and clearly zealous supporters of a teenage boy, rally crying and cheering as they openly disregard and scoff at the tears of the Battle Ground biological girl who refused to run. The community that “prides” itself on love and compassion openly avoiding the obvious confusion on how a political movement with its foundation on women's rights and progress, has now metamorphosed into celebrating a biological male out performing and openly taking a podium position from a female.
And on the other extreme, a new and rising movement that has hijacked conservative christian values in their misguided ‘counter-culture’, standing at the finish line for their live stream content as they scream and berate a teenage kid who is grasping at acceptance and value.
Adults have a responsibility to do better than simply choosing which child to defend and which child to condemn.
I am not advocating for abandoning convictions or pretending difficult questions have easy answers. I’m distinguishing a policy disagreement from a personal attack. We have become a culture that is content to dwell on and amplify the ‘what’ instead of continuing onto the ‘why’. I can stand there in my humanity and genuinely question what cultural influences led this boy, who ran the first few weeks of the season as a male, to switch and now compete on the girls team. I can also stand there and be heart-broken as I watched the tears intermingle with sweat on the face of the 3rd place female competitor from Skyview as she embraced her mother, realizing her 2nd place opportunity was taken.
Unfortunately, time has shown again and again that the cultural minorities that lead to widespread policy may not start with our children, but they almost certainly end with them. Perhaps the saddest part of this controversy is that compassion has come to be treated as a concession, and fairness for biological girls as a provocation. We have allowed the loudest voices to convince us that acknowledging the objective realities of biology means betraying another person's rights. While at the same time, emboldening the extremists on the opposite side of the political spectrum to deny the humanity of those they define as repulsive.
The question I pose is where do we go from here? That is not fence-sitting. This is what a local community should expect of itself.
The question before us is not simply who should have been on the starting line at a cross-country meet. It is whether we can resolve a difficult disagreement without sacrificing the young people caught in its middle.
If our culture cannot do that, then the problem extends well beyond one race in Camas.
It is a reflection of a culture that has forgotten that winning an argument is not the same thing as doing what is right—and that children should never have to pay the price for our inability to tell the difference.
